There once was a lonely little llama. Every day, she would stand next to the large pile of hay and wish she had another being to share it with. One day, a wonky being appeared out of the blue and they instantly became best of beings...

Have you ever had one of those friends that just appeared out of now where and you instantly connected with? You found yourself sharing the good and the bad, the up and the down? Well, that's the story of Myral (the llama) and Terrye (the Misplaced Alaskan).

This is the story of Myral. Welcome to the first page:

1. What ever made you decide you were crazy enough to get into blogging?

           

I didn’t even know what a blog was 3 months ago. My best friend Terrye was the one who thought I was crazy enough to start blogging. She is the Captain Picard to my Data, so she would know.

2. What was the strangest thing you have ever done on a dare?

I stood on top of a travel trailer in my American flag underpants singing "I Feel Pretty" at 3 in the morning. Keep in mind that I was 18 and I had to squeeze through the bathroom ceiling vent to get on the roof. I have no idea why my sister dared me to do it but thanks to her a very old man has seen me in my knickers. He seemed to enjoy it though. He applauded and yelled encore. As you can see I’m not heartless, I do community service for the elderly.

3. Favorite toppings on your ice cream?

None, I’m lactose intolerant. I don’t let that stop me from eating peppermint ice cream though. It is my kryptonite.

4. What was or is, the best job you’ve ever had?   

The best job I ever had was as an usher at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas. I worked in the main theatre for the musical Mamma Mia! On the dark nights the casino would book some great comedians. I got to see Bill Cosby, Larry the Cable Guy, Ron White and others. I could have done without seeing Andrew Dice Clay, he’s just horrible. I did get to meet some amazing people and I had the time of my life. To be honest after seeing Mamma Mia! 7 times a week for 3 years I can’t bring myself to listen to ABBA. Even after all of these years if I hear any song by them I groan and change the channel.   

5. Panties, grannies or commando?

This is an interesting question! Lets say panties on me (and all those young starlets that wear short skirts). Grannies on no one but grannies and you can picture anyone you want commando. I don’t judge.

6. The biggest jackass you’ve ever met and why?

My old boss M.F. (those are his real initials and very fitting) was the biggest jackass I’ve ever met. He had no people skills, no common sense and liked to throw things at me. He was also a narcissistic misogynist who I desperately wanted to punch in the face. Since homicide is counter productive to workplace advancement I had to find a new job. As luck would have it my new boss is also a jackass but she doesn’t throw stuff at me, so that’s a plus!

7. What inspires you to write?

I can’t say it’s any one thing that inspires me to write. It’s a whole plethora of different things that I’ve experienced, heard or have seen. I tend to have a different way of thinking about things and usually tell my friends and family about it. They have always told me I should write about my thoughts and share my stories. I think in this case Terrye gave me a hard enough boot to the ass to get me started. We will have to sit back and see where my train of thoughts takes us.

8. Take out or dine in? And what flavor?

Mostly I prefer take out, Chinese or Italian. I’d rather sit at home watching my favorite shows than sitting in a restaurant. Besides when I need to use the rest room at least I know whose rump has been on the toilet.

9. On a typical Saturday night you can find me?

At work, and yes I know that’s a boring answer.

10. The most embarrassing outfit my mother ever made me wear in public was:

When I was nine years old my grandma gave me a present for my birthday. As most of us know, grandparents can be grossly outdated when picking clothes for kids. My grandma was no exception. I remember opening the brightly wrapped box and staring open mouthed at the peach colored polyester leisure suit. Now, I turned nine in 1986 and because of that I have no idea where my grandma got this outfit in the first place. She must have ordered it from throwbacks-r-us. It was hideous and my mother made me wear it for the rest of the day. Now, let me reiterate that it was polyester! If I had stepped too close to a heat source it would have melted into a bulbous plastic cast of all my no-no parts. I would have been a tiny peach storm trooper. I burned all of those birthday pictures.

11. If I could have one super power while stuck on a desert island with my favorite book, it would be:

Okay, let’s answer this question in parts. First, my superpower would be the ability to fly. This isn’t my first choice but since I’m stuck on a desert island I believe it would come in handy. Second, I have so many books that I love it’s hard to choose. But since I’m stuck on an island I think the Odyssey by Homer would be my choice. And finally, I want to know how the hell I got stuck on the island in the first place.   

12. My fondest memory of my first car is:

My first car was a 1976 Volvo 244DL 4 door sedan. It was blue inside and out and built like a Sherman tank. I loved it so much I named him Bruce. (Bruce being one of my favorite names) I remember putting a couple of friends in the back seat and a couple more in the truck and going to the drive in. We watched a horror movie double feature and had a great time. And yes, I giggled the whole way there and back knowing I had bodies in my trunk.

13. Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller?

Adam Sandler.

14. When I was a little kid, I always wanted to be:

I wanted to be a Starfleet officer, although I would settle for any position in Starfleet (even now). I know to most people that sounds silly but Star Trek was a huge part of my childhood. There was a year in high school when I was determined to be a topless orthopedic shoe model, but that’s a story best left for another day.

15. The coolest person I’ve ever met that no one would believe:

John Lithgow. I met him when I was 15 years old in Montana. I was staying in Rollins for the summer and was hanging out at a restaurant called The Drive In. I went into the store next door to use the restroom when his little yippy dog ran in and tried to bite me. He was very nice and apologetic about it. I saw him a couple of more times over the summer and he’s a genuinely nice guy.

16. My favorite sports team mascot:

The Oregon Ducks! But to be fair I’m an Oregonian and can’t help myself. I do, however, have a soft spot for the Stanford Cardinal mascot. Why someone thought a tree is a good representation of a cardinal is beyond me. It looks like a bloody demented Christmas tree! You know, I’m just going to include a picture so you can see what I’m talking about.  

17. In one year, I hope that my blog is:

Read by someone. It doesn’t need to be a lot of people but enough so that I don’t feel like I’m talking to myself.

18. My most traumatic Easter Bunny Story is:

I don’t have one. The Easter Bunny has always been very respectful and kind to me. However, I’m not sure the chickens he stole those eggs from would agree.

19. When I hear a song by Katy Perry, I usually:

Wonder who’s been playing with my radio stations. Personally I have no issues with Katy Perry or her music. My nieces enjoy it and I let them listen to it when they are with me. It’s simply not my type of music.

20. My most memorable childhood nightmare:

That Star Trek the Next Generation would be cancelled. Yes, I know how that sounds and I don’t care.

All the questions were submitted by the above mentioned Terrye. So that concludes the get to know Myral portion of tonights programming. Tune in next week for a story written about what ever pops into my head.